Monday, March 28, 2011

Regina the Zombie Slayer, Episode Eleven: The Jaws of Death

She looked left. Right. Bubbles rose to the surface in front of her, and then dissipated. She felt a current against her thigh. She shrieked as something scaly and slimy and cold brushed her ankle.

Then, there was a calm. Regina listened to her heavy breaths, felt her heart pounding against her chest. He arms and legs continued treading.

Then, a great beast rocketed from the deeps of Deadwater lake. It was at least forty feet long, a ghostlike swimming lizard with rows of sharp teeth glistening in the moonlight. Its reptilian, pale eyes gleamed in the dark. The creatuure dived back into the lake, and Regina felt its current sweep past her feet.

She turned and swam as fast as she could to the shoreline. She heard the creature screech from behind her.

But she couldn't look. That thing had to be much faster than her.

It dove and swam right beneath her. Regina came to a stop, and could see the lizard, like a pale shadow, pass under her body.

She couldn't turn again. That would just lead her back to the center of the lake. She veered right toward the shoreline, nearly out of breath.

Then, the fearsome reptile surfaced just in front of her. Its wide jaws opened, and Regina felt herself being pulled into the great maw of jagged fangs.


The jaws snapped close around her, the sharp teeth sinking into her frail form with unbelevable force, piercing past her skin into bone and organs. She felt herself be pulled under, down and down into the dark depths of the lake. She breathed the water in, and it felt cold and slimy going into her lungs.

As the beast thrashed her about at the bottom of the lake. Regina's last thought before she lost consciousness was that it wasn't a zombie human that had finally gotten her.

It was a zombie crocodile.

Come back next Thursday to continue with option two of Episode Two: A Watery Grave. A decision will have to be made - and don't make this one her last.

The readers' score: 1 death.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Regina the Zombie Slayer, Episode Ten: A Watery Grave?

Regina looked back . The zombies were closer than she had realized. She wasn't going to be able to beat them on foot for much longer.

She had to swim.

Regina turned and bolted down the path toward Deadwater Lake, praying it wasn't too far.

The path sloped down and to the left, surrounded on both sides by towering pine trees. The route seemed endless.

Tears of desperation streaked down Regina's cheeks. She loved life more now than she ever had before.

Where is that lake?

Ahead, the path straightened out and the trees opened up. Regina could see moonlight glistening of off a calm, murky body of water.

"Yes!" Regina made her feet go faster. The path ended in an old, wooden dock. For a moment, Regina imagined kids playing on it, jumping into the water, launching canoes.

Those happy moments were long gone from the place. Now, Deadwater Lake was privy to a scene of horror: hundreds of zombies chasing after a girl armed with nothing but a frying pan.

Regina felt like she was flying as she ran from the dirt path to the dock. She readied herself to dive into the lake, attempted to quickly recall the swimming lessons she had taken as a child.


Regina fell through the docks and slabs of jagged, rotten wood flew up around her face. She shielded her eyes as the splinters cut into her cheeks.

"No!" The perfect facial complexion she had always taken pride in was now ruined.

To make matters worse, she was now flailing in dark, stagnant water that tasted like mud and metal. She swung her arms and legs around in the awful water, trying to calm down. She surfaced and gulped in precious air.

Regina looked up at the gaping hole in the dock through which she had fallen. Regina felt stupid for trusting the old platform. She should have found a different place to jump in.

Before Regina could have another thought, shadowy hands were reaching into the hole, grabbing violently for her.

"No!" Regina screamed as a zombie got a hold of her shirt with hands covered in gangrene. The ghoul was surprisingly strong, and started pulling her out of the water. Other zombie hands grasped her as well, each one helping the other to pull their potential meal from the water.

Regina realized that she was still holding the frying pan. It seemed nearly attached to her arm now.

She swung it out of the water and bashed at the grasping hands and arms. Water cascaded off the pot and into Regina's mouth as she gave a primal scream.

The ghouls let go of her and she swam out from under the dock, coughing and choking on the terrible water. Regina kicked her way to the center of the small lake. Despite its size, it still took a few minutes to get there.

At the center, she began to tread, turning to look back Tthe shore line.

Zombies had lined up along the lakeside, clearly afraid to jump in.

"Take that!" Regina thrust her pan in the air triumphantly.

However, Regina realized how dire her situation was when she turned towards the other side of the lake to see a line of zombies there as well.

She was surrounded on both sides.

"No!" Regina shouted through gritted teeth. "Charlie! Will! Help!"

Regina knew it was pointless to call for her deserters, but she wouldn't be able to get out of this situation by herself again.

Something brushed against Regina's leg.

Once. Twice.

Oh no.

Regina was either going to have to take her chances and swim out, or stay in the water, hoping that it was just harmless fish swimming past her legs.

Another scrape against her thigh. That didn't feel like a fish at all...

What should Regina do?

Keep treading water
Swim out of the lake?

Regina's in more trouble than ever before. Only your decision will help her survive the next moments of her life. Come back next week for the next harrowing chapter.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Regina the Zombie Slayer, Episode Nine: Left Behind

Regina's feet were suddenly carrying her toward the window before she even realized what she was doing

"Wait!" Charlie shouted from behind her.

Too late.

Regina was already breaking the window, opaque and thick at the bottom with age, with her skillet. No turning back now.

Regina stepped aside. "Lead the way, Will!"

Will raced forward, climbing through the window.

"You've really done it now," Charlie growled, his accent growing thicker.

"We've gotta move."

Regina climbed through the window after Will, scraping her hands on remnants of glass on the sill. "Bickering will only get us killed by that horde."

By the time Regina dropped down from the window, Will was already several lengths ahead of her. Leaves crunched under Regina's feet as she ran through the camp grounds. The moans of the horde swelled in response to the noise of their escape, but there was nothing she could do to prevent it. She could only run faster.

Regina risked looking back at Charlie behind her. The beam of his flashlight shook violently as he ran to keep up.

Regina tripped as she turned around. She thrust out her arms to keep from falling flat on her face. She scrambled on all fours for several moments, trying to cover ground while she regained her balance.

Charlie came barreling in behind her, knocking her to the ground as he jumped over her.

"What the hell!"

Regina looked up as Charlie and Will disappeared into the darkness and trees.

Regina jumped up and turned around. A few zombies were right behind her now, zeroing in on her position. Regina high-tailed it into the trees, searching desperately for Will and Charlie. She could not even see their flashlight beams anymore.

Regina chastised herself as she ran. She had known not to trust those men. Now, they had left her behind with the horde.

Tree limbs and other sharp things she couldn't see put fresh cuts on her arms and legs.

"Damn, damn, damn!" Regina shouted. She clambered through the trees and underbrush. She finally broke through the tree line on the other side and found herself on a trail that sloped down to the left.

Regina followed the trail down, hoping Will and Charlie had gone the same direction. At the bottom of the hill was a rest stop with a parking lot, and what looked like a Ranger Station or information center. A wooden swing set, well into the process of rotting, sat lopsided in front of the building.

Regina ran straight through the rest stop, not knowing where she would go next. The roar of the horde was deafening now. If Regina fell or dared to stop for any moment, the zombies would be upon her. But, even adrenaline and fear couldn't drive her tired limbs forever.

At the end of the rest stop, there was a crossroads. There was a pole a little taller than her with arrows attached, each one pointing to a different destination.

Stoneman's Valley was to the right. Deadwater Lake was to the left.

Regina almost laughed at the name of the lake. It was terribly appropriate.

She had no time to appreciate the irony, however. She needed to make the right decision.

Heading for Stoneman's Valley meant a lot more running, but maybe Will and Charlie had gone that way. The valley, whatever it was, might also be the way out.

Then again, Deadwater Lake might be the right choice. Regina was sure zombies couldn't swim. She could jump in the lake, swim to the middle, and wait for the horde to pass. Or she could swim to the other side and have a huge head start on the zombies.

Regina looked behind her. A few running zombies had broken ahead of the horde's solid line and were headed right for her. She had to move now.

What should Regina do?

Head for Deadwater Lake
Head for Stoneman's Valley

Vote now and come back Thursday for the outcome. Hopefully, you will make the decision that saves Regina's endangered life once again.

The readers' score: 0 deaths

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Book Review!

We Zombie has posted a review of Night of the Necromancer! Check it out by clicking here.

The site is a great resource for all things zombie. I highly recommend it.

Also, an interview of Jelani and I concerning the book should be appearing on the site. Be sure to watch out for it in the next day or two.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Regina the Zombie Slayer, Episode Eight: March of the Undead

Regina found the courage to stand up for herself. She was not going in there first.

"So you guys send in the girl with the skillet first? I don't think so."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Do the men always have to everything around here? Have it your way then. Will - check the cabin."


"Yes, you. You're closest, so get on with it."

"That's not a good reason..."

Regina was almost tempted to go in just to stop them from yapping. But her life wasn't worth these two - not by a long shot.

"Fine," Will agreed. "I'll go in. But I get dibs on the beds."

"Suits us," Regina said.

Will slowly, tentatively stepped foward. He reached his pistol out and pushed the door open with it. As it opened, it let out a foreboding groan. Will stepped in. Regina could hear his boots creak on the planks inside.

"Looks clear," Will said. "Come on in."

Charlie and Regina stepped toward the door. At last, she could see the cabin's interior. Dust coated everything - and dead leaves from a decade's worth of autumns lay in the corner. There was a musty smell - as if nature were slowly taking this small piece of civilzation back. It was cold in here, too, but at least there was no wind. Several mattresses, yellowed with time and the elements, lay on the floor. Two were set on the top bunk, and were relatively clean.

Regina wasted no time in jumping on one. It had a sour, unclean smell - but at this point she didn't care. She was exhausted.

"Just as well there are only two beds," Charlie said. "One of us will have to keep watch."

Will had already settled on the other bunk, and was now breathing heavily.

"You worry about getting a good night's rest," Charlie said to Regina. "You've had the roughest night of all of us. I'll wake you up with the sun. We need to put some more distance between us and those monsters."

Regina wasn't even listening. Despite the cold, she was already nodding off.

* * *

Something was touching her leg.

Regina woke with a start, being jolted out of her nightmare. She saw Charlie's face, a mask of fear. He put a finger to his mouth .

Regina felt cold, and it had little do with the room.

Across the way, Will was already awake. His wide eyes glistened, and he held his pistol tightly.

"What is it?" Regina whispered.

Charlie didn't speak. He merely pointed out the window.

Regina looked out. A line of about a dozen zombies were limping down the forested hill they had descended earlier. Regina wanted to scream, but caught herself - such an action would surely get her killed - or worse. As she continued watching on horror, she noticed more zombies materializing in the fog from behind the first line. And more. It was an entire horde. They marched slowly, steadily, an undead parade.

They were about a football field away.

"I think we can outrun them," Will said.

"We're safe here," Charlie said. "As long as we don't panic and stay quiet."

"Those things can smell us. How do you think they followed us this far? It's only a matter of time before they break in."

Eighty yards away.

"They sure don't look like they see us. They're rather quiet, I would say."

"Now's our chance!" Will slipped down from the bed. "I'm running. I don't know about you guys, but I'm not going to wait out a siege."

"Wait!" Regina hissed.

Sixty yards.

"Whatever we do, we do together. If you run away, you'll just get us killed!"

"We don't have time for this," Charlie said. "They're too close now."

Will eyed the door. Regina felt like he was going to go - no matter what she said.

Then, she got an idea - an idea that seemed repulsive to her, so repulsive that she didn't want to believe she had thought it. She could just let Will go. While the ghouls were distracted eating him, she and Charlie could slip away.

Forty yards.

There was no time. Regina had to make her decision, now.

What should Regina do?

Let Will run away,
Convince Will to stay and wait it out,
Convince everyone to go as a group.

The score: o deaths.

Choose wisely, and be here Monday for episode nine of Regina the Zombie Slayer.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Regina the Zombie Slayer, Episode Seven: Zombie Camp

"Alright," Regina said. "I'll go with you guys. But no funny business!"

The Englishman raised his hands innocently. "Easy there. We just want to help. Why not stick together? Our chances will be much better."

The American nodded his agreement. "You're safe with us. Sorry about the rope thing. It obviously wasn't meant for you."

Regina looked from one to the other before she gave a nod. "Alright, then. Where are we going?"

"There's a summer camp half a mile away," the American said. "It's pretty out of the way, and it's closed this time of year, so it should be safe."


"You can go back to town, if you'd like," the Englishman suggested. "But we're headed to the camp. You're welcome to tag along if you want."

I'm already liking you jerks...

"Fine," she said. "Let's get moving."

The three tromped through the trees and crunched over fallen leaves. A cold wind blew, and there was no sound from any living thing. The full moon hung overhead - it must have been two in the morning. With that thought, Regina felt a wave of exhaustion overcome her.

She kept up her pace, and she decided to talk to stay awake. "So, what are you guys' names?"

"I'm Charlie," the Englishman said, "and he's Will. You?"


Nothing more was said as they walked up a wooded hill. She noticed that both carried pistols in their right hand. Guns had always made Regina nervous. Her skillet probably looked useless to Charlie and Will, but it felt just right in her hands.

"Is that your only weapon?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah," Regina said. "I don't like guns."

Charlie gave an ironic chuckle. "Good luck with that."

Regina decided to just ignore him.

They topped the hill, and a valley spread out below them. Within the valley was a large clearing that held some old, wooden buildings.

This must have been the summer camp.

The buildings lay on either side of a dirt path. A large building on the top of a small hill looked like a dining hall - another large building looked like a community center of sorts. The smaller cabins were spread out, outside of the clearing and half-hidden in the woods. A light fog enveloped the entire place.

Regina couldn't help but feel she was entering a horror movie - and the fact that she didn't trust these guys didn't help either.

"This place looks pretty abandoned," she muttered.

"That's strange," Will said. "I guess they must have shut this place down. That's good for us. Means no people."

They walked down the hill toward the first row of cabins. Darkness hid whatever could be lurking inside of them. One had a broken window - perhaps decades ago, a boy had thrown a baseball or rock at it. The cabin's front door faced toward them and hung ajar. It swung freely in the wind, creaking forebodingly.

"I guess this place would be good as any other to shelter in," Charlie said.

Regina heard what sounded like a distant scream from somewhere within the camp. The hair on her neck stood on end. It was unearthly and unreal, and she clung to her skillet tighter.

"Did you guys hear that?" she asked in a near squeak.

"Hear what?" Charlie said. "You're just imagining things. This place is kind of spooky, though."

"Yeah, it sounded more like the wind to me," Will said. "Let's just take some shelter. If it is something, we don't want to be out here in the open."

Regina shivered. It was getting colder, and she had neglected to bring her coat.

"I don't like the look of this place," she said. "Let's just go back."

"To those things?" Charlie gave a rather loud laugh. "Hardly not. Come, now. In you go."

Reluctantly, Regina took a step toward the cabin.

But then she stopped. She didn't want to go in there. At least, not first.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Charlie demanded angrily. "We haven't all bloody night."

"Yeah, go in the cabin," Will echoed.

Both of the men looked at her intently.

Did she have to do this? Would they get angry if she refused?

They did have guns...

What should Regina do?

Run for it!
Investigate the cabin,
Suggest one of them investigate it?

Place your vote and come back this Thursday for another episode of Regina the Zombie Slayer.

The readers' score: 6 correct decisions to 0 incorrect decisions.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Regina the Zombie Slayer, Episode Six: It's a Trap!

"I better stay in these woods," Regina whispered.

She threw the bike aside and fled into the thick trees. It would do her no good out here.

The horrific moans of zombies still at her back made her skin break out in goosebumps.

She suppressed a shiver as she ran for her life. Sharp leaves cut into her skin as she ran. She gritted her teeth, so as not to scream in pain and frustration.

Regina didn't dare turn back to see how close the ghouls were. She would surely trip and be eaten. She put one leg after the other and listened to her ragged, uneven breathing.

The cold air was unforgiving on her lungs. They ached with exhaustion. She was beginning to feel sick with the effort.

A sudden tightness constricted around Regina's left leg.


She was yanked up and left dangling in the air from a tree. She swung back and forth like a pendulum.

Her bloody skillet dropped from her hand and bounced on the damp ground and into a pile of leaves, far out of reach.

Blood rushed to her head and her hair obscured her vision. She could see nothing but a small swath of ground beneath her.

But she could hear the tortured cries of the zombies grow ever nearer.

"Help!" She flailed her arms down, up, around. It was futile. Her fingers only met empty, apathetic air.

She was now a dangling piece of zombie food.

"She's not a zombie!" An excited, male voice.

"She brought a ton of the buggers with her, though." A second voice. British accent, also a man.

"Please don't hurt me!"

These two men, whoever they were, had complete control of her.

"You're safe, baby doll," the British man said. "We're just gonna take proper care of these zombies, real quick ."

The men walked away, leaving Regina alone. She whimpered at being abandoned and helpless. The blood to her head was becoming unbearable.

Gunshots. A crescendo of moans and groans. More gunshots.


Footsteps slowly walking back.

Hands were now on Regina's legs and ankles, and she cried with relief. The rope was untied and she landed on her shoulder with a heavy thud. She lurched up and stepped away from the two men. She could barely see them in the shadows.

"Hold on," the American one said. "You're safe."

"How am I supposed to know that?" Regina asked . "I was just caught up in your little trap!"

The two men were now coming into focus. The American was probably in his thirties and seemed nice enough - at least on the outside. But the British guy had a strange gleam in his eyes she just didn't trust. He was in his forties, and portly, with a dark shadow of a beard. He had eyes that seemed to see right through her. They looked at her expectantly, waiting to see what she would do next.

Regina weighed her options - fight, flight, or trust.

And, never had her life been more on the line than it was right now.

What should Regina do?


Vote in the comments section to help Regina survive the next moments of her endangered life. The action continues on Monday!